Note to Self. 40 spins around the sun have taught me this.....

Suddenly it all makes sense.

On the Eve of my 40 cycles around the earth, i felt blessed. I felt tremendous gratitude for my soul to have knocked on my door, and for my inner voice to have answered. I was at the Shivananda Ashram in the Bahamas, at awe, in the realization that my first introduction to Yoga came through the Shivananda Centre in Toronto in 1996, so long ago, and though I have travelled many paths through Yoga, it is here that I was on the eve of my 40th birthday.

As I celebrated 40 spins around the sun, and suddenly it all made sense.  Suddenly, there is a different depth of trust in life's grace and I no longer need to know all the details, of why and how, but rather I feel more at peace with where I am and I feel a more mature level of commitment for my spiritual practice that carries me through, day in and day out.  

Suddenly the voice that struggled for so long to find its path, has quietly found it.  Suddenly the weight of my broken heart has lifted and the veiled of the illusion of separateness has come together to show me that neither time nor space are real boundaries for the heart, and that I am here to experience and learn about love, unconditional love.

Separation found its way to my heart on the summer of 1991, when we immigrated to Canada.  We, my mother, myself and brother, left Venezuela 23 years ago in the midst of very corrupt governments  lack of social conscience, violence, attacks on our personal safety and personal freedoms. We became immigrants in what I thought at the time was a strange country, with a language I did not speak, a culture I couldn't relate to, a winter that chilled my bones, and a one way trip that broke my soul.  Tears rolled down my cheek for 365 days in a row, and every now and then, they still find their way out of the deep layers of my teenage heart onto the face of my 40 year old body.  I guess my scar hasn't fully healed, I guess home is always our first love, and a place no other place can ever replace.  But through these 23 years as an immigrant I began to heal my heart, I began to make it my home, I began to understand and feel the greatness of being where I am, being free to speak my truth, having my rights as a human, as a woman, as a mother, as a daughter, respected and valued. I began to appreciate in my body, the peace that exists around me.  I began to appreciate and become conscious of my freedom.  I began to understand the reasons of why we left, I began to understand that growing up in a beautiful yet violent city, had left a deep imprint of fear, anxiety, and worry within me, but it has also given me one of my most precious gifts: a social conscience. 

This social conscience that feels and sees too much, has led me to interact with the world through the lens of my camera, documenting all sort of stories about the human condition, the journey of social justice and human rights is one close to my heart.  Photographing stories of the human heart, stories of spiritual transformation, stories in places far away and close to home, opened new doors of perspective and awareness onto my journey and allowed me to have exposure to the spiritual ways of different cultures and traditions that otherwise I may not have had the opportunity to bare witness. 

This social conscience is the seed of my dharma, and though the way in which I am engaging with the world is changing, the seed is still the same.

I am and will always be a hope activist at heart. 

Through my healing journey over the last 5 years, I discovered that the road is never straight.  That it's full of wonderful twists and turns, detours, and doorways into the greater brave new worlds.  That it's full of serendipitous meetings that always leave an imprint in our souls.  The more we are able to connect within ourselves with our own sacrednesss we are able to also see the Universe- The Macrocosm symbolically at work within us and through us.

This year in particular I have surrendered to my heart, to the consciousness and the fire that burns within, and the reclaiming of the sacredness that resides deeper beyond the fire in my heart, deeper in the place where silence resides, where I feel most complete, most open, most vulnerable, most peaceful.  That space where I am truly myself, where I feel supported, nurtured and nourished by Spirit. 

Along the process I have tapped into the Ashram within,  the sacred space that has always been with us.  I have choosen to answer, to surrender, to melt away into the wings of consciousness.  In me, it took a healing crisis to take the leap of faith.  In me, it took the realignment of where my body, my heart and my soul needed to go vs where my mind thought it needed to go.  In me, it took the acceptance, that I can choose, not just cope, not just have to, not just carry on, but actually CHOOSE how I deal with what happens and the shifts that ripple out of my choice to align myself ever more deeply with my true self, with my soul and with Spirit.  It's given me great strength, awareness, and a deepening of my purpose.  It has sparked the REVOLUTION WITHIN and defined that what I used to call my creative dragon is the hope activist whithin.  For that I am grateful and I know in my bones that I am exactly where I need to be and where I prayed so long ago that I would be- home within.  

So as I sit on this last day of 2014, I think of all that came to pass, the twists and turns of my healing journey, and I bow into my heart with a big smile on my face and resonating with a big YES!!! and a big THANK YOU!! on my chest for heavy metals are officially OUT! and a new phase begins and the extention of the Revolution Within continues.  I'd like to think of it as a new phase of deeper integration.  And rather than make or think of my 2015 goals as resolutions, I rather think of them as a process of deeper alignment.  What and how do I choose to walk my line? What do I envision to create this year? What are the feelings, the everyday state of being that I wish to live from?  Gratitude, Love and Deep Trust are the first ones to come to mind.  How can I be of service and really, really make a difference in my community, in the world, in my life and yours? 

How can we inspire each other to bring about the best in us, and live, in trust that you will be there for me and that I will be there for you.  How can we create safer communities for our children and how can we teach them to walk their line ethically, carrying honesty and a deep love and respect for the world and the people of the world?

What are you thinking for this next year to come?  Allthough every day is a new opportunity to create shift and change within us and spark our own Revolution Within as we awaken the hope activist that resides in our hearts,  this time of the year gifts us the opportunity to synch into ourselves a little deeper and begin to write a new chapter in our lives.  Time, well, she goes.  We keep spining around the sun.  What have your spins taught you?  What are the dreams you dream as we spin?  When will you start living your dreams, living what you love and in the process spark your own Revolution Within and tap into your own hope activist?

I don't have your answers.  They are only yours to be found, to be lived, to be surrendered to, to be choosen by you and only you.  You know yourself best, and most importantly it's your life.  It's your journey back to you.

On these 40 spins around the sun, and on this last day of 2014, I feel blessed, grateful, hopeful and inspired to dive deeper into the realms of alignment of body, heart, mind and soul.  I feel my compass has been set.  It is driven by my heart and the hope activist within, and it knows only one way forward. So what do you say, are you ready to roll up your sleeves and dive deeper within?

Quote of the day:

Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."  Say not, "I have found the path of the soul."  Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."  For the soul walks upon all paths.  The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.  The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.  ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

Have you been Permacultured yet? well, if you haven't get Permacultured now! The H.O.P.E Permaculture Tour is HERE!

Have you?, no really, have you?  Been permacultured lately??

I can tell you I have, it has stolen my heart, taken my dreams, and tucked them away at the end of the rainbow for me to journey on, quietly walking barefooted on the land, quietly listening to my breath, witnessing what is inside of me and outside.  It has grabbed me by the hand, and shown me a vision of what is possible, a beautiful sustainable future, where individual expression is embedded with social conscience, where compassion is at the core of our hearts, and grace, love and respect for Life rather than fear guide our journeys and our choices.  

Permaculture is a system and a philosophy of creating permanent cultures using ecological design, modelled through the observation of nature, creating long term sustainable eco-systems that can be restorative, rejuvenate and take care of themselves for the most part.  "Permaculture is defined as consciously designed landscapes which mimic the patterns and relationships found in nature, while yielding an abundance of food, fibre and energy for the provision of local needs.... more precisely I see Permaculture as the use of systems thinking and design principles that provide the organizing framework for implementing the above vision"- David Holmgren 'Pathways to Sustainability'.

Traditionally Permaculture is used in creating permanent sustainable gardens and farms that nourish us with delicious goodness.  Permaculture goes to great lengths into evaluating and using the relationships already present in the eco-system to their maximum potential for the benefit and sustainability of all. 

But to me, Permaculture is everywhere! As much as it's principles apply to our outer landscape, they can also be used within.  As Ayurveda says, as within so is without, what exists in the Macrocosm, also exists in the Microcosm.  As much as these principles are tools for creating healthy ecosystems, they are also a means to discover and more so recover our deep ecology and our ancestral connection to the spirit of the earth.  True radiant health can only exist within once we begin to choose to create radiant health through our actions and our lives in our immediate and not so immediate environments.

So if you haven't been permacultuted yet, perhaps you will you will consider joining me and 5 others homesteaders who on Saturday October 18 & Sunday October 19th, will be co-hosting the first annual H.O.P.E. Permaculture Tour in the York-Durham Region, Ontario, Canada.  Come out & learn about permaculture design to create your own sustainable oasis!  2 days, 6 stops. 

Over the past few months myself and 5 other Homesteaders in the York- Durham Regions have gotten together recognizing the need to share our experiences, as well as, inspire and provide others with the tools needed to take self responsibility over our health, the food we eat, the importance of our relationship to the earth and our deep ecology, as well as, the importance of increasing our awareness of being local in our choices.  Out of this desire to be of service the Homesteading Organically to Produce Eco-systems (H.O.P.E.) Permaculture Tour was born. 

During this 2-day tour, we will be visiting 6 different homestead properties that have used permaculture principles in their design and the designers of these properties will be travelling around with the participants to answer questions throughout the weekend. A tour of each site and a workshop at each site will take place at all 6 locations. A bus and shuttle services will be provided throughout the tour.  Camping will be available at Foggy River Farm and there are also B&B's available in the area.  Light snacks and handout materials will be provided, but meals are not included. The bus will be stopping for lunch and additional shopping on both days.

For more info and registration see here: http://permaculturetour.eventbrite.com


I encourage you to check it out, come out, join us.  Spread the word, share the event!.  If you live far away, gather with your fellow homesteaders and start a H.O.P.E. Permaculture Tour of your own! It's not just a tour, it's a movement!

Yours Truly,
Your HOPE Activist,
Naty Howard.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Permaculture is the art of the possible."- Graham Bell 'The Permaculture Garden'.

When one door closes, another one opens... wide open!

It's an old saying.. "When one door closes, another one opens".  But what happens if we are really attached to what we do, where we are at, our passions, dreams and desires?  What happens when the door closes, when we realize that if we want to have a different result, we are going to have to change what we are doing?  At first, fears happens.  Then a lot of questioning happens.  Perhaps some anger.  But then answers also start to happen.  Then a deeper sense of how much we have changed, and what the desires behind some of our dreams really are.  A different level of peace and trust enters into my heart and I surrender, I accept, I move, I breathe, I get onto my mat, I connect with the Wisdom of Spirit within me.  I surrender to the Magic of it all, because I feel it giving life to the beating of my heart.

As some of you know I used to work as a photographer.  I still do it, but not as much as before.  Then I got sick with large quantities of Heavy Metals in my blood that were causing all sorts of reactions.  Then I got tired of being sick and having no answers.  Then I started listening deep within and my life changed.  Everything is the same, yet EVERYTHING has changed.  There was a time in my life when all I breathed, ate and dreamed about was photography.  I couldn't imagine my life without it.  As I continued to heal, I went back to painting.  I need that creative outlet of artistic expression.  It has been my calling for so long.... but for the last couple of months... I started to react to the subtle and not so subtle scents and fumes of the acrylic paint.  Ahhhhh.  What? No! Again? Yes!

I have felt fear, I have felt anger that I can't do things that I love because of how they affect my body.  I have struggled with it.  But I have also sat with it.  I asked questions and received answers.  I surrendered to the powers above, and awoke to a magical world of synchronicity, love and spirit.  As I meditate with it, I realize that most of my work as a photographer and a painter where about the human connection and my own connection to Spirit. Photographically, they were documentary stories about our social conditions, a lot where about the rituals that keep our connection alive.  As a painter, I was fascinated with painting the feeling and energy of a landscape as a way to journey to Spirit.

As that door closes, it doesn't mean that I will stop, but the ways in which I can work both photographically and through painting have to change, a bigger door opens! The softening of the heart, the forgiveness to self, others and lives's circumstances is allowing me to trust in the ability of the Universe to guide me, to allow for personal transformation and a more intimate and deep connection to Spirit.  All sort of wonderful synchronicity, magical moments & people keep showing up in my life and I am most grateful for the awe I feel inside. So another door opens and it's all Rawllygood.  This brave new world has brought me into a different understanding and relationship with myself and with Spirit.  I accept.  I surrender. My heart is open.

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"Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love."- Lao Tzu

The Universe is a Dragon that never sleeps...

Happy Holidays!!! As we grow onwards and upwards as a global culture, I hope that the Holidays that you celebrate are filled with joy, love, transcendence, prosperity and peace.



How are these special days going? How did the summer & fall treat you? or better yet how did you treat yourself during the last few months? The days come and the days go and our habits either build us up, build our health or tear us down towards disease.  Every little habit as unconscious as it may be either builds us or tears us.  It is fascinating to me how many things we do in a day, how many thoughts, emotions we have that perhaps are just part of our conditioning, that we experience at a subconscious or conscious level, that make up who we are today and where we are at.  The Universe is here for us to explore, the potential for anything we dream of doing or becoming is here, so what happens? what happens along the way to that dream? what happens along the way to that new be-coming that sometimes eludes us and seems further away than when we started?

Sometimes as we create new habits, new lifestyles, new thought patters and more conscious emotional responses I seem to move 1 step forward and two steps back, 3 steps forward, 4 steps forward -- uhhuu!!! and then a few more steps back... mmmh. I really like the steps forward, not so much the steps back. But it is in the steps back that I have learned the most about myself, my conditioning, my conscious and subconscious choices and the inner dragon that seeks to dance to the wild fires of my heart.

But every step back is not a full step back. As my conscious choices, awareness and responses have had a deep root healing in my life, what I may feel is a step back, perhaps is that pause between a deep inhale and a deep exhale, that pause that gets the body ready for a deeper inhale, for a deeper exhale. I wish to see it as a moment of reflection & integration.  A moment of self awareness.  A moment to witness myself in the unfolding.  It is my choice to see it as a step back or as what from now on I will call a 'witness step'.

Whatever your journey might be, having the certainty and deep rooted belief and hope in deep healing has allowed my inner dragon to find the freedom I needed to explore new worlds and new therapies, new ways of healing that may seem controversial or perhaps just so different than mainstream therapies and protocols.  It is in having the courage to step away and out of the 'conventional' that I have regained my health, and found the answers that no one was able to give me.  It is in this journey that I have rediscovered my inner Universe and accepted my inner Dragon.  It is in following the beat and rhythm of my inner Dragon that I learned to dance again.

Trust yourselves, for the Universe already has the answers to the questions and conditions that you seek.  Seek them boldly.  Know with certainty in your heart that you have the ability to heal yourself, even when the world seems to tell you otherwise.  The journey might seem hard at times, but as we move away from dis-ease, our body will align itself with radiant health. As we build and gather new tools into our lives, new lifestyles, new routines that allows us to manage the world outside of ourselves and allow us to connect more deeply to the world within, our lives change.  Change gives us the courage to go on, and the power to unleash our inner Dragon.

Wake up calls can be scary, I have been there.  They shake your entire world, turn it upside down and leave you and me, speachless and ungrounded.  One of the biggest tools I have found is to daily ground myself.  To daily connect.  To daily awaken myself and recognize that my inner dragon in my Universe wants to be alive, wants to express itself, just wants it to be me.

So as the New Year comes, I like to set new goals and intentions, I like to dream again, I like to step by step walk and build those dreams… so I encourage you to take a little time for yourself, to touch base with your deep self, what is your dream?, what is your calling?, how can you walk towards it?, how can you let it walk towards you? What is your gift to gift the betterment of humanity?

 I encourage you, to take the time, to reflect and meditate, to make it a daily habit, to tap in, to breath in and out, to savour the moment, to be present to your self so you can be a better gift to others, to clear the fog that envelops our minds and hearts and find the essence of who you really are.

May this year be the year where you have clarity of your dreams, where you make them happen, where you connect deeply with the beauty and magic of life, and where you share your dreams and gifts with us for the betterment of Humanity, the Earth and for you, YOU, to be fully your very own best.




HAPPY HOLIDAYS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Keep your Rawllygood Heart going, allow it to shine bright, and inspire others along the way.


In Peace,
Naty Howard

No No No... Of course I have not forgotten about you!... and Yes! It's Official!

The days seem to roll on and goodness, gracious we are in June already!

I hope you have been well... I have been a busy bee... and thus my lack of communication.. but it's all all right .. I am still here...

Last Sunday night, I had the privilege of hosting the first ever Rawllygood Potluck at our place. With family and friends we gathered and lead the way to one of many Potlucks to be had.  So ITS OFFICIAL! The Rawllygood Potluck is here to stay... on the first Sunday of the month between 5 -7pm.  So gather yourselves and come on by for a Rawllygood time full of inspiration, community and great people who strive to build a wholesome community.  No worries, you don't have to be Raw Vegan to come on by.. just have an open heart and a willing to try new things, that is all.  Actually, I was the only Raw vegan at this pot!, but I am full of luck in that as friends and family we respect each other's choices recognizing that we have a common desire to reconnect with the power of clean real fresh food and the power that as our community grows so does our awareness of our current environment and our awareness to be of support to one another.

Our next Rawllygood Potluck will be on Sunday July 7th, 5 - 7pm.  The potluck will be at our place (8641 concession 2, Mt. Albert/ Uxbridge, ON-- beware of GPS they will take you to the moon before they find our place!) but we have an opportunity to gather earlier at my friend's Anne and her husband Mike Lanigan Organic Farm for their Annual Farm tour.  It's bound to be a great day, can't get any fresher than that! From the farm to the table!

The Organic Farmhouse Garden Tour starts at 2.30pm and it is a Rain or Shine event.  Dress for the weather.  No pets please.  They do a great tour of their organic farm, it is an eye opener!.  Their address is 30 Scugog Line 12, Uxbridge, On.

So if you are interested in coming out, you can meet us there or meet us here for 5pm. If you are interested in coming only to the Potluck, let me know, and I will let you know where we are.  Either way please RSVP so that we have an idea of the numbers we are expecting.

Details of the Rawllygood Potluck:

Please bring a Raw Beegan dish of your own creation (I am ok with using raw honey as a sweetener, more on that follows, but keeping it Vegan otherwise) . Enough for the confirmed number of people to sample. Organic, dairy/egg free, plant based, meat free, not heated over 41C or 105F, along with a list of ingredients or recipe!! I will try my best to post some of the AWESOME recipes on the Blog.

Please AVOID the use of Agave syrup. IF your recipe calls for it you can use RAW cane sugar, dates or raw honey. Agave syrup is basically Fructose! and it will mess around with your blood sugars. More on that at http://rawllygood.blogspot.ca/2013/01/farewell-agave-farewell-hello-queen-bee.html

I know some of you are completely Vegan. We will do our best to respect that.

  

There are many websites to find inspiration such as:

www.rawllygood.blogspot.ca

www.goneraw.com

www.giveittomeraw.com

www.runningraw.com

www.hippocratesinst.org

I will be sending reminders of it on a monthly basis.

Please RVSP back to me so that I can have an idea of the numbers and we can all plan our dishes accordingly.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY 

“True wisdom lies in gathering the precious things out of each day as it goes by.”- Anonymous

My heart goes out to Boston, my thoughts and resilience are with Venezuela, my spirit gathers strength with Amnesty International for there is much to do in this world.

My heart goes out to Boston, to everyone who participated, from runners to supporters, from individuals to families... I think of you. The world thinks of you.

My thoughts and resilience are with Venezuela, where elections were held a few days ago and the layers of corruption have yet again taken over the process of democracy.

I am inspired by those who extend their hand in the midst of chaos, those who keep on advocating for a just world, where human rights are met for one and all. In the midst of it all, these stories rise to the top, and I thank you for being a ray of sunshine on dark days. We stand for those who may not have the opportunity or freedom to stand, we speak for those who may not have the opportunity or freedom to speak, we act for those we may not have the opportunity or freedom to act, for themselves, their children, their country.

There is a quote by the Dalai Lama the XIV that I would like to share with you...

“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”

Hope carries us through. I believe Hope combined with Action has the power to change each and everyone of us, our immediate community and the world at large.

My spirit gathers strength with Amnesty International.. and that was really my blog today, but I just couldn't let the two previous events go unspoken. This is my second year participating in Amnesty International's Canadian Yoga Day. A day to raise funds for Women's Human Rights. 

I am a strong advocate of human rights, where does this feeling or need to act come from? For me it comes from growing up in Caracas, Venezuela and, as a child and young adult, baring witness to one to many violations of human rights. It comes from my work as a photojournalist seeking justice in my heart, trying to raise awareness about current social-political situations and baring witness to the unthinkable. Today, as a mother of 3, having found some peace within myself with the fact that the I may not be able to bring justice to every situation I encounter, but I can focus on educating my children so that they can become shiny just beings with open hearts. I can take part in creating awareness in my own community, from human rights to the local food movement, I can participate in events like Yoga Day were my efforts have a direct influence on someone else's life for the better.

So come on out for Amnesty International Yoga Day Marathon !! Come for one class, stay for all!

If you are on lands far away, you can still help and participate... you can donate! you can create your own event! Ask your Yoga Studio to get involved! Spread the goods and make it a world wide event! Actually you can create any event you want as a fundraiser for Nasrin... go on... gather your hope along with your action.. its time! Post it... what event will you create? what event will you participate... anything from Potlucks to Yoga! keep it simple, the canvas is yours... It would be fun to see what you come up to.... take some pics and post them up.. lets see if we can go around the world with this one!