As I breathed deeply last night I thought about how to make those really challenging days better. How to make the 'taking care of myself' part of the day happen, because it's the first thing that goes when the storm hits. I have been wanting to get up before the roosters croak for a really really long time. But it always seemed a far away desire, because I've been up through the night or I had a late night or so on.
Last night I went to bed very very late, with the intention of getting out of bed at 5.30 am to do my bowing, breathing, stretching and meditation. It takes me about 1.5 hrs to do my routine. I was up and moving, not feeling tired, but rather feeling gratitude for getting up, for taking care of myself before the day begun for everyone else. I loved it and I made it happen. That part of myself that was so frustrated yesterday, that feels anger and resentment when I have taken care of every one's needs but my own, was being nurtured and it felt so good.
My practice ended at 6.40 am with my kids up and on my matt, playing 'London Bridge is falling down' as I was on downward dog and trying to finish my last Sun Salutation! Not bad for the end of my practice today and the beginning of what so far has been a wonderful day. My son, who has been the 'challenge' lately, sat on my lap, and hugged me. It was the first time in a little while that we were able to connect on a one on one without either of us being frustrated with each other. Truly beautiful.
Making it happen has brought a few gifts for me already. It's only 10 am and I am writing!!!! whooaaaa, what a change!!!
I fully understand that sometimes "Making it happen" seems impossible. I've really struggled with this one and I know I am not alone in that struggle, whatever "it" may mean to you. But going beyond what we think are our limits and potentials has allowed me to discover my will, my strengths, my commitment to myself. It's all good, it's all worth it. In the process, I have surprised myself. I have inspired myself to keep on going, not only with the Juice Feast (Day 34!!!! wooohoooooo!), the mediation, but other things that have been on that long list of "one day I would like to do". Being present in this moment. Doing them now has allowed me to tap into my vibrant being.
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"Things do not happen. Things are made to happen."- John F. Kennedy
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Morning: Spinach, watercress, clementine, orange, grapefruit, 5 oz wheatgrass. 30 oz.
Mid morning: Spinach, carrot, gooseberries, orange, apple, celery, cilantro, cucumber, lemon. 40 oz.
Lunch: coconut water. 18 oz.
Mid afternoon: Pak Choi, kholrabi, beet, parsnip, cucumber, celery, cilantro, spinach, carrot, pear, lemon. 40 oz.
Tonight: cup of hot tea.
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