Day 38, only two to go, and I have struggled today in ways I have not during the entire fast. I was reading about desire yesterday. Desire for lasting happiness. Desire that takes us out of the moment into the future or the past or whatever the object of our desire is.
Today, my Desire was for food. I started craving all the things I want to eat when the fast is done and I had one of the hardest days yet. I can see the finish line, and perhaps that is why I have allowed desire to come into my thoughts. I felt agitated by it and I don't particularly like it.
Another desire I have been thinking about today is healing. Health, optimal health. I want it. I want to stop the cycles that have created physical conditions. I want to stay with the feeling of total liberation, which is in itself another desire.
I had to remind myself to breathe deeply today. To stay focused. To trust that I can do this. I was battling my mind today, and I am tired. Perhaps the 4 hour sleep I had last night didn't help either.
Morning: spinach, carrot, ginger, parsley, celery, fennel, green apple, 5 oz wheatgrass. 35 oz.
Soon after: clementine, celery, carrot. 30 oz.
Before lunch: cup of hot water with Unpasteurized Miso.
Lunch: Kale, cucumber, celery, mint, cabbage, pineapple. 40 oz.
Mid afternoon: cup of throat formula tea.
Later on: cup of hot water with Unpasteurized Miso.
Dinner: cup of homemade ginger tea.